“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
Have you ever attended a meeting that you know you don’t fit in well with the others? That was my day today and I have five more just like it before the school year begins.
Three years ago, Don and I moved to Texas. Shortly after we arrived, I started a job as a 4th grade teacher. Compared to being a special education teacher, I really enjoyed it. I would spend late nights at school to get everything ready for the next day/week.
At the end of the year, the principal asked me (volun-told me) to take a job as a Skills II teacher. A Skills II teacher is exposed to daily chances of getting injured by behaviorally aggressive students. I reluctantly agreed.
Within the first month, I was injured three times on my left wrist and hand. By mid-October, Don was driving me to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. It was discovered that I was having a major panic attack. Even with IV medication, the doctors could not get my blood pressure below 167/120.
Though I felt led by God to work with students with special needs in the public schools, God made it loud a clear that His plan was continuing in a new direction. By November of that school year, I had resigned and was given the opportunity to start teaching at a Christian school.
Unfortunately, I had to give up the public school paycheck and all benefits. But my joy came from the middle school students that I was able to work with. Plus I could now talk about Jesus, teach the truths from the Bible, and pray with my students.
In April, the staff was notified of professional development seminars that we could attend presented by the public school system. Being a learning-nerd, I jumped at the chance and signed up for 6 different seminars.
Last night I didn’t sleep well because of the anxiety that started to creep up. My brain keep thinking about who I may see at the seminar; the looks I might get for being “an outsider”.
Today during the seminar, the presenter did a great job introducing books, and describing and demonstrating many apps that could be used with my students. When I opened my laptop, I realized that I could not access those apps because I did not have a district-issued computer.
Also, I couldn’t use my computer because I didn’t have the password for the secured WiFi signal. I felt trapped. I didn’t fit in.
Suddenly, I stopped and prayed asking for God to help me appreciate the learning He provided, and how to use what was presented with what He provides to the Christian school.
As a result, I noticed my wrist (the injured one, which is still far from healed,) where I have one of my life verses tattooed – “Be Still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10.
I don’t need to fit in with the world, but I need to keep my focus and sense of belonging on God.
Have a blessed evening,